Comic-Con. It's not just for nerdy guys anymore.
And it's not all just about the influx of squealing "Twilight" girls, either. This summer's event, taking place July 23-26 in the San Diego Convention Center, could shape up to be a smorgasbord for female fandemonium. (We say "could" because the official rundown of panels and events won't be officially released until next month.) But we've got a pretty good idea of what eager girls can expect (aside from one heck of a line for the "New Moon" session). Other vampires will be in their midst ("True Blood" and CW's upcoming "Vampire Diaries") but also kick-ass TV heroines ("Dollhouse" and "Chuck"), the muscle behind "G.I. Joe" (Channing Tatum, anyone?), perhaps a return visit from Robert Downey Jr. (hawking "Iron Man 2") and, if we're lucky, Brad Pitt himself (for "Inglourious Basterds").
Following this intro is a slide show of 22 reasons for "eager girls" to attend, ALL of which are based on movies and films featuring various Hollywood stars and include captions about how much the ladies will love throwing themselves at the shows' hunky male actors or looking up to their favorite "girl power" heroines. Because there certainly couldn't be any women who actually attend because they like comic books, graphic novels, anime, manga, games, classic animation, fantasy, or sci-fi. The only reason for ladies to go is to get a glimpse of Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.
And don't even get me started on the slide show's captions! Here are a couple of my favorites, but you really should go read them all and have a good laugh at what they authors really think about women:
'Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time'
Women will be rushing the stage, offering to do star Jake Gyllenhaal's laundry on those washboard abs that he acquired for the film, since he spends much of it fighting, shirtless or both. Jake, we don't want to know how to quit you.
Vampire-lovers have it all wrong. Werewolves can keep you warm, sympathize with your monthly curse, sniff out where you lost your keys and not thirst for your sweet, sweet blood. Bonus: Benicio del Toro's natural wolf-y looks won't even require hair and makeup for the panel.
Those witchy women of Eastwick
Get your female empowerment right here. John Updike's novel about three women who find their lives turned upside down and mysterious personal powers unleashed when a devlish man moves to town, gets the network series treatment courtesy of ABC. Plus, you know the wardrobe of Rebecca Romijn, Sara Rue and Lindsay Price is going to give those "Desperate" housefraus a run for their money.